When I was in my 20s I went on a date to a fancy schmancy restaurant on 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica. I ordered a pizza and didn’t eat much of it because of appetizers and general date nerves. If you’ve ever been to Santa Monica before you know there are a lot of homeless people on the streets. As we took the elevator down I asked my date if I should give the pizza to one of the homeless people along the sidewalk. My date then proceeded to lecture me on how giving food or money to homeless people only makes them more dependent on the system, and doesn’t help them in the long run. He said it actually helps contribute to the homeless population and enables them to rely on ‘us’ for what they need.
As I look back on this situation I wonder about a couple of things. First being, why didn’t I just hand my pizza to someone who looked hungry? Second, why didn’t I speak up and tell him all I wanted to do was feed someone who might be hungry – system issues aside?
To this day I think about that incident and how it made me look at my date. Was he a mean person? No. In his own way he thought he was helping to ‘fix’ the ‘problem’. But what if it’s not a problem? What if it is as simple as feeding a human being who is hungry? Or having a homeless human being teach us about compassion?
Fast forward to today and I still give money and food to people I think need it. Are there people out there who take advantage of the system? Absolutely. I once gave a box of crackers to a homeless man who then proceeded to throw them over a wall once we drove away. But lumping everyone in that category really hinders the entire homeless population. I honestly believe there are people who need our help. Whether it’s a smile, a sense of compassion, a couple of dollars for a meal, or some leftover pizza.
It brightened my heart to read a story on Facebook about a similar incident and the impact it left on my friend, Marci. I LOVED seeing the amount of ‘likes’ she got by writing the story. I asked her if I could share her story and she let me! Here it is:
“I headed to the gas station today with $6, my allocated budget for cigarettes for the day. A homeless man sitting next to the door asks me to buy him food. Not wanting money, but food. I smiled and said sorry, I didn’t have any extra money. When I get to the counter this voice in my head asked me how I could be so selfish that I would buy cigarettes over feeding a starving human being. I redirected, picked up a ham and cheese sandwich, chips, and milk. He was shocked when I gave it to him after I had brushed him off as I’m sure many others had done. He took it and I walked away. I watched as he said a blessing over his food, and proceeded to open the little mayo packet and put it on his sandwich. Point being I’m cigarette less tonight, but a man is fed and I’m happy.”
The reason I like this story is because on some level she knew she didn’t ‘need’ the cigarettes, yet this man most likely needed a meal. She was able to be kind, compassionate, and step outside of herself to see what a fellow human being needed.
Let’s take away race, classes, systems, and injustices. Sometimes all someone needs is a helping hand.
Domestic Grace 
marci said,
March 17, 2014 at 11:53 pm
I’m so honored you shared my story and are sharing the thoughts you have on life. Love you, friend!